


For Better of Worse

by florencedrunk



Series: The March 2017 Stucky Challenge [26]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Cheating, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentally Ill Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 02:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10452858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florencedrunk/pseuds/florencedrunk
Summary: "I can feel it coming," Bucky whispers. He's resting his head on Steve's chest, and the sound of his heart echoes inside his ear. "I can't go through all of that again.""I'll be with you," Steve says, caressing his arm."You deserve better than this," he says. "Better than me."223. a promise





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [For Better of Worse](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344854) by [vslvsct](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vslvsct/pseuds/vslvsct)



Steve runs his hand through Bucky's hair. He's so quiet when he sleeps, so peaceful. Nothing like the storm and fire he is when he's awake, when it rains salty tears, and sorrow burns hot on his skin. When he's asleep, it's like he's wearing a mask. Or, maybe, it's the only time he allows himself to show his true self.

 

* * *

 

Steve lips feel like poison on Bucky's — vicious, bitter poison that corrodes its way through skin and flesh until it gets to his lungs, making it hard for him to breathe.

"I can feel it coming," Bucky whispers. He's resting his head on Steve's chest, and the sound of his heart echoes inside his ear. "I can't go through all of that again."

"I'll be with you," Steve says, caressing his arm.

"You deserve better than this," he says. "Better than me."

"Buck—" Steve tries.

"Allow me this, please," he begs. His voice is barely a whisper, and he's crying, but he needs to get this out. "I want you to be happy, and I know you can't be if you are with me."

Steve's heart is beating faster. "How could I be happy if I'm not with you?" he says.

"Please—"

"No," Steve says. "I'll stand by your side, always. I promise you."

 

* * *

 

On the good days, they're like magnets, unable to let go of each other. They kiss and touch and forget that anything but them exists.

And when Steve looks at Bucky, all he sees is sunshine, and the way everything he touches turns the same shade of gold as him. He hears him laughing, and thinks that's the only sound worth hearing. He watches the way he moves through the world, like every little thing he does is an adventure he can't wait to embark on, and can't wait to follow him.

On those days, happiness doesn't seem all that far.

 

* * *

 

"What's his name?" Steve asks, trying and failing to keep the tears back.

"Brock," Bucky responds.

"How many times?"

He doesn't want to know, not really, but he needs to.

"Just— just once."

"Why?" he asks.

"I—"

"Why?" he asks again, louder.

"I don't know."

"Did you think this would make me leave you?"

 

* * *

 

On the bad days, they're like magnets repelling each other. They try to get closer, but there's an invisible wall keeping them apart. They punch and push and scratch, but it remains unscathed.

And wherever Bucky looks, he sees only darkness and cold, as if there was a black hole devouring all that's good in the world. All but Steve. Steve seems to be the only one capable of opposing the force of this whirlpool of gloom.

Bucky's eyes are crowned by dark circles, and, as he lies in bed, he can't help himself but think that if the world outside is devoid of light and warmth, that's exactly how he feels inside.

 

* * *

 

Bucky's lips taste like sugar on Steve's, and they are all that he wants to ever taste.

"Today was good," Steve says. Bucky's hugging him from behind, so he feels him nodding against his back.

They stay like that for a while. Then, Bucky speaks.

"What about tomorrow?" he asks.

"We'll worry about that tomorrow."

"What if things get worse?"

"They'll have to get better, eventually."

"What if they never do?"

"We'll brave through it, together," Steve says. "I made you a promise, didn't I?"

 

* * *

 

Bucky brushes his hand against Steve's cheek. He's so vulnerable when he sleeps, so exposed. Nothing like the warrior he is when he's awake. When he's asleep, it's like he sheds his armor and puts his shield down, abandoning every defense. Or, maybe, that's when he shows his true strength, the bravery to trust someone else with his safety.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have questions or just want to say hi you can find me on [tumblr.](http://florencedrunk.tumblr.com)


End file.
